The Hidden Leaf Files (Fixed)
by Dragonlord1988
Summary: (Fixed any problems from initial posting). Jiraya sees an alien in the woods, and nobody-not even the agents sent to investigate-believe him.


I do not own either "Naruro" nor "The Simpsons". Both properties belong to their respective creators, and this fan fiction is for entertainment purposes only.)

This is my very first fan fiction, and a fitting one for October. So please review politely and fairly. I had the idea for this fiction a while in my head, and I finally got around to start writing it. I hope you enjoy it. (Fixed version)

The Hidden Leaf Files

Chapter 1

In a darkened room, that appears to be a study, a woman in her late 20s, sits at a desk that has a skull, a book, and three lit candles on it. The woman has light brown pupil-less eyes and violet hair in a short, spiky, fanned ponytail. She wears a tan overcoat with what seems to be a mesh shirt underneath. Behind her is a bookshelf containing various material about otherworldly occurrences.

"Hello. I'm Anko Mitarashi. The following tale about an alien encounter is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all a lie. But it's an entertaining lie. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer..No. Our story begins on a Friday morning in a place called the Village Hidden in the Leaves..."

She grabs a book, showing a picture of a glad-looking Jiraya in it, leading to...

"T.G.I.F.! I'm off to do some 'research'

As he is about to leave, Kakashi halts him. "Jiraya, it's ten in the morning, and there's that list of D-Rank missions you have", protests Kakashi. But being the sly one, Jiraya has a way out.

" Don't worry, I have a plan. First, I just do a few handseals like so."

He performs said handseals. "This will cast a summon a shadow clone of me."

The jutsu is cast, and a shadow clone of Jiraya's younger self appears. Jiraya wondered why it was of his younger self at first, but grins about it anyway, feeling so proud of his idea, though the look Kakashi gives him says differently. Though what is rather surprising, only because of how ludicrous it was, is how well it does the real Jiraya's tasks.

Over at the Hokage manor, Tsunade had, to her surprise, finished today's paperwork, and was thrilled about it. Her assistant Shizune came in, being rather chipper.

"So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Lady Tsunade? Something wild, no doubt?"

"Hmm? What?" murmured Tsunade.

"You know, living it up, But at least keeping some restraint."

Tsunade chuckles. "Exactly, Shizune."

As soon as Shizune left, Tsunade checked within a small book a ticket to a weekend cruise, meaning plenty of alcohol and gambling and wild partying.

Meanwhile in another part of the Hokage building, the two elders Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane were taking some medication.

"Thank Kami it's Wednesday"

But Koharu corrected him saying " It's Friday."

"Uh oh, wrong pills" was his reaction before he suddenly grows hair all over his body, shocking Koharu.

"Uh, little help?"

At the hospital, one of the doctors leaving says "Thank Kami it's Friday!" and hums as he leaves his office, closing the door behind him. What he did not notice was that there was a male patient standing behind an X-ray machine. "Hello? Hello?" asked the patient as he wondered if anybody will hear him.

Over at Naruto's house, Sakura is helping tidy up the place, which desperately needed it.

She sees a dog chewing on a part of a footrest: "Bad dog!

She sees a cat clawing on a chair: Bad cat!"

Then she says to a fawn licking something off the carpet "Bad fawn! Hmmm...Shoo shoo!"

In the living room, Naruro and Konohamaru, whom Naruro is babysitting, watch the television. "All right! It's time for Channel 8's T.G.I.F. line-up!"

"Konohamaru, when you get a little older, you'll realize that Friday is just another day between Channel 10's Must-See Thursday and Channel 7's Saturday Night Crap-O-Rama."

At a little tavern on the outskirts of the village, Jiraya goes in after a long day of 'research' for his next book. The bartender, Agito, asks "Another sake, Jiraya?"

"Nah, it's Friday night, Agito. I want to try something special."

"Sure, sure."

Agito writes something on a bottle.

"Here you go. Pale Orange, from the Snow Village."

"Cheers!"

Jiraya takes a sip, but he's not fooled for long.

"Wait a minute, this is plain sake!"

Agito sheepishly admits his trick. "Heh, you got me, didn't you? Okay, here you go. Red Tick, a mix of tea and sake."

He hands Jiraya the bottle, and the Toad Sage take a sip, impressed by the drink.

"Mmm...bold, refreshing, and something I can't quite put my finger on."

At the processing plant where the tea/sake mix is brewed, two workers were overseeing a vat of sake with dogs swimming in it. A taster samples some of the drink.

" Hmm, needs more dog."

After many bottles of the Red Tick drink, Jiraya decides to take his leave. "Well, it's 1 A.M. Better go home and spend some quality time watching the TV."

But before he can do so, Agito stops him. "Just a second, Jiraya. You gotta take a breathalyzer test before I let you ride off on one of your toad summons."

The Toad Sage complys and the machine goes from Tipsy, Soused, Stinkin', and ending on Absolute Boozehound.

"Uh, I guess I'll walk home" he reasoned and walks out, swaying drunkenly.

The wall back home is a bit unnerving, as he walks down some eerie roads, being spooked by the occasional dog howling. Suddenly, he hears scary, discordant music and a light comes towards him. It turns out to be a carriage foe the Hidden Leaf Music School. The carriage stops and a woman playing a koto gets off, walking back to her home.

The Toad Sage decides to pick up the pace and continue on his way, and comes across a billboard that has the word "DIE" on the front. "AHHH!" He screams, but then a gust of wind blows a tree out of the way and the billboard actually reads "DIET". "AHHHHHHH!" He screams louder and runs off towards the woods.

A figure then emerges from the undergrowth, revealing it to be Sarutobi, the Third Hokage.

"Oh, Jiraya, I'm glad to see you! I've been looking for my stolen letters to the Fire Lord and-"

"No time for you, old man!"

Still in panic mode, Jiraiya pushes him out of the way.

As Jiraya ran through the dense woods, he then trips over a root and lands flat on his front. As he shakes off his disorientation, he becomes bathed in a green light. He looks up to see a green glow moving towards him, and the source of the green glow, and it's an almost human-like figure, with one eye open. Jiraya, fearful for his life (though all that sake IS affecting him) reasons that this must be one of those 'aliens' he heard about.

"Please, don't hurt me!"

In a soft voice, the alien responds: "Don't be afraid."

Needless to say, this does not Jiraya at all.

"YAHHHHHHHHHHH!".

The pervy Toad Sage then runs through a field of long grass, spelling out " Yahhh!" before zooming back to the village.

To be continued...


End file.
